Writing, F*cky-Brained, Paralyzed, With a Drippy Taco in Your Hand: Or, How This Lesson About a Woman Named Janet Will Help You Smash Your Newsletter
Janet is about to change your life 🤷♀️
You know that whole paralysis thing that happens when you sit down to do something on the internet—anything—and suddenly you’re like:
Oh god, WHO CARES?
(This is especially true if you were about to post something meaningful, heartfelt, or god forbid... earnest.)
Yesterday, I was chatting with a client who had THE BIG P. She’s in real estate and she’s starting a newsletter. She is alllll excited about the newsletter, because newsletters really are the best and only way to smash it in business. 🔨 (Will die on this hill.)
But then Big Petey shows up. Big Petey Paralysis. Because there are just so many questions that need to be answered.
What should I write about?
What…um…should I really fucking write about??????
How do I, like…write stuff?
That anybody wants to read?
What do they want to hear?
Who do I want to be?
WHAT IS MY IDENTITY, WHO AM I.
Shit, that woman’s newsletter I just subscribed to is 🔥.
But, I could never write something like that. Could I???
What are my goals with this, anyway?
What if this gets too overwhelming? Can I keep up?
Wait, so what am I writing again?
Is there a specific format?
What are the best practices? ARE there newsletter best practices?
Will anybody read this shit?
Can I buy a mailing list? How do I find the readers?
Need a drink.
Who has time for this? This is all very time consuming.
Plus, like…the internet’s such a big place. Who will even care? Am I a hamrod?
Raise your hand, darling, if you have thought any of these! (I know you have, stop faking it.)
Fortunately, this isn’t my first rodeo and I’ve been teaching the ancient art of newsletter writing since the good year of at least one giant earthquake in Chile, 2010.
So I’ve seen this hairy little hemorrhoid before.
And I knew exactly what to say to her next.