Dear World: The Kind of Hell You Choose Will Always Determine the Kind of Freedom You Have
2/10/2026
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hi, i'm ash!
Creator of the New Travel & Design Series, 'OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES.'
Travel writer & host, cultural explorer, and architecture & interiors freak.
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Every week, we're exploring global culture through the lens of the home. From floorplans to fixtures, we examine how houses are built, designed, and decorated around the world (with a side of sass, of course!)
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The only podcast where we pass on the pyramids and poke around in the plumbing. Iβm Ash, and I'm, exploring the strange, smart, and wonderful ways houses are built, designed, and decorated around the world.
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Yeah… when I was growing up, our house was heated by a wood stove, as was my grandmother’s. My uncle had coal or something, but he was always snooty…and I suppose sooty. Anyway, unlike the ginormous stoves that sit outside and use roughly a third of a redwood in a single load, my childhood house had a wood stove in the basement. That meant we had to cut the wood, haul it home, cut it into manageable lengths, split the big buggers, and then stack it an armload at a time in the basement. Thus was my child labor paid. My parents were the ones who got up several times during the night to feed in more wood in an attempt to keep the house warm. With limited insulation to counter the sub-zero temps, my little upstairs bedroom never quite benefited from the heat. So, yes! I completely agree with your choice to use the electric heaters as freedom fighters. Thank you for your post!
Oh my goodness. First of all, βsuper sootyβ was hilarious. But also: I have lots of friends from high school who had this set up, e.g. carrying the loads of wood into the basement wood stove. I could not imagine: I donβt even like to open the door and peek down there!!!! (Itβs a dirt floor basement with field stone on top of it, and very, very spider-y, hahahaha.) Growing up in THE TRAILER OF JOY, we had propane heat that was forced air. All I remember was my mom fretting if we would have enough $$$ to fill the tank.
“Trailer of joy!” hahhhha!! That would be a great book title or book section
I grew up in central Minnesota – and holy hell winters were cold (which I oddly miss)… every February my parents took a long weekend trip to Vegas, leaving us teenage kids home alone (silly parents!). Our house had a wood stove, and a furnace that ran on propane. We had this giant propane tank in the backyard, and as a teenager you don’t really pay attention to how that thing gets filled – you just know the house is warm, so there is propane in the tank.
Well, one year during my parents annual trek to Sin City the propane tank ran empty AND the temperature dropped to 15 BELOW zero. It was so cold in our house that the Dawn dishsoap froze on the counter. I can remember curling up under so many blankets just so I wouldn’t DIE.
When my parents returned home (because they never called to check on us – can you even imagine that happening in 2026?) my dad’s first question was “why didn’t you call the co-op and have them come fill the tank?”… Whaaaaaattttttt!
Love this post.. this shit will make you think:
“Isnβt it fascinating, the things we do based on what we value most?
Do you value self-sufficiency, and the idea that hard work produces fine results?
Or, do you value self-autonomy, and the idea that hard work produces freedom?
The kind of hell you choose will always determine the kind of freedom you have. But, that only matters if you value freedom.
This is not everyoneβs priority.”
Omgggggg itβs been negative 6 around here this week, and that has been enough for me! ALL THE COTTAGE PIPES ARE FROZE SOLID. π€£ But, canβt imagine the dish soap!!!!!! BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Julieeee
16 year old Julie was NOT prepared to order $1000 worth of propane.. how was I to know we could just βcharge itββ¦ I was really let into the world with zero preparation – I know that know. LOL.
Yessss my neighbor up the road just told me they were spending $2K a month on oil before they got their wood stove. (And this is WHY they got their wood stove.) π€―π€―π€―
This comment is the trophy winner of βtell me your GenX without telling me your GenX.β
Did our parents ever check on us? Nope. They needed to be reminded we existed by a commercial every night at 10pm
I don’t miss the cold winters of New England. Especially after living in the southwest for 30+ years. I grew up in a Cape Cod house and the upstairs didn’t have heat. That was my room. I had an electric blanket to keep me warm. I hated getting out of bed in the morning and running downstairs to the bathroom. π₯Ά
But the summers in Arizona are brutal and our electric bills can get close to $500 a month. But like you, I am not going to suffer in the heat. I keep my home nice and cool. Some people use Swamp coolers to keep the price down but they can’t really cool a home. It’s bearable …maybe.
Yes, we get to choose how we define freedom and how we live our lives. I’ll take 110 degrees over 5 degrees any day. Plus, as they say, I don’t have to shovel it. π
BAHAHAHA βdonβt have to shovel it!β Dude. Yes. When I was in Costa Rica I spent around that monthly for electric bc of the AC. I would have liked to have been the person walking around with windows open and chilling in a tank top, but jungle humidity isnβt like βoh wow a nice breezeβ and when you work online all day, itβs just so uncomfortable. I canβt tell you how many times we had the air conditioning guy come to add Freon. πππ
LOL..Freon in Arizona is like margaritas at a pool party.
Technically optional.
Realistically?
If itβs missing, people start leaving.
LOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
Ugh that dry heat is bad! I spent middle school years in Albuquerque with no air conditioning. Everyone was like “At least it’s a dry heat” It was like hell all summer long waiting for the bus and walking everywhere with no car.
This resonated so much! When I grew up in Vermont, my parents kept the heat on in the entire house because we lived in all the rooms. Today, we live in a house where we only heat the room we are in too – except for the toilet, where there is no heater except what I (or more likely, my spouse) carry in. When we moved to this house, the owner made all the accommodations for a wood stove, but then covered them up and said he’d put it in next year. Mmmhmmm. Nope. Slate floors, tiny radiators, no wood stove. Of COURSE we only heat the room we’re in!
We are now in the horrible process of weeding out – sometimes with machetes – before the glorious final goal of moving to an apartment in the city (this is MY freedom) where even with the heater turned off we don’t get that cold – though the guest toilet still has no heater.
And even though there’s no heater in the toilet, I still live in hope that one day you will grace us with your presence!
Oh my god. The ONE room I DO keep the heat on 24/7 is the bathroom!!!!! Baaahahahahahahahahha!!! The toilet seat is wayyyyy too cold!!!!! π₯Ά Then again, itβs just been miserable hereβthe other day it was negative 6, but βfeels likeβ negative 30. (Ugh, Fahrenheit.) So I suspect that this old house with its single paned windows and drafty ass doors just gets super super super cold. I suppose it also doesnβt help that Iβm in the literal mountains; my girlfriend in NYC is just a couple hours away and sheβs at least 10 degrees warmer. Maybe that is your situation, too, moving to the city!!!!! (And of course Iβll come visit!!!!! Wouldnβt we just be the talk of town, ha.)
Yeah, asphalt raises the temperature by a few degrees, but being surrounded by other apartments helps too!
When I was a kid, 30 below (which is about where fahrenheit and celsius cross) was normal when we waited for the school bus, and I celebrate here in Europe when we get even a bit of snow, probably because it never lasts long. This year we had snow on the ground for a week (yay!) and I celebrated with a snow angel and cleaning the rugs.
Awh the outdoor wood boiler. I don’t have one but my son does. I didn’t want one because I didn’t want to deal with prepping wood for the year every summer. The actual putting wood in twice a day was not the deal breaker. Weirdly I still end up prepping the wood at their house every summer with them because it’s an enormous job to put up 12-14 cords of wood to heat a house in Alaska. When they go somewhere, I get to put the wood in the boiler lol. I still didn’t escape the work of the boiler! I still think the easy part is the twice a day. My son does it on schedule. First thing in the morning and dinner time. I do think it’s better than an indoor wood stove that requires constant wood. They are efficient and really heat the house nicely. I have baseboard water heaters that are fueled by diesel fuel. Another Alaska thing. My house is so well insulated (not like the lower 48) that when it was -55 and my boiler broke, the house still stayed at 65 for two days without other heaters. Insulation is everything lol. In the case of sufficiency and self-autonomy I donβt think itβs an either-or option. Self-sufficiency and self-autonomy arenβt opposing forces. I like to think of them as dance partners. One steadies you; the other sets you free. Hereβs the thing. Being self-sufficient says I can handle the wild and whatever life throws at me with what’s in my pack. Self-autonomy says I get to choose the trail I walk or the woods I walk in. Put them together and you are not just surviving youβre living deliberately. Hard work builds the muscles and stamina for both. You learn to fix the fence, unfreeze the pipes and to say no to a job or whatever it may be that cages your soul. That tension between the hell of hustle and the freedom it earns is where most of us live, especially up here in Alaska, where βdo-it-yourselfβ isnβt trendy itβs a Tuesday. From my point of view, freedom is carved out with hard work, bold choices and a refusal to settle for less than what your heart desires. So yes, choose your kind of hell, then build your kind of heaven with it! Oh and find a good person to watch over your heaven when you want to jet to another country for a break. Trust me, in Alaska we all need a break now and again, especially when itβs been -60.
Melanie I LOVE this bit: ‘where βdo-it-yourselfβ isnβt trendy itβs a Tuesday’- for some reason that really stuck out and I’m going to be sitting with that thought and see where my brain takes me- thanks!!!
Thanks Nicki! Love to hear where your brain takes you!
Melanie THIS IS YOUR BOOK!!!!! You need to write the damn book!!! This right here needs to be the theme of the book!!!!!! I want to read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also. I need to know about insulation. I have never heard a sexier word since, true story, the pipes in the cottage actually DID burst this afternoon. Precisely because itβs on a block foundation above ground, without even the earth to insulate. The big house is in the earth. I just canβt believe your house stayed at 65 for two days. Every morning when I wake up, downstairs is 41 freaking degreesβ-after I had the temp at 80 when I went to bed. (With the help of a propane wood stove I have in one room that literally only heats that one room, lol.) So, wow. Good thing I bought those new doors. Still waiting on them, though!!
I’m working on that book I swear. You always encourage and motivate me! Thank you. I’ll email you on the insulation and I’ll reach out to a friend here for some more info on above ground because that’s actually common here. Mine isn’t but I know a lot are so I’ll see what suggestions he has for you! My windows are triple pane too and that is a huge difference as well. Air still seeps in here and there but overall it stays pretty warm. UG so sorry to hear about the pipes! I have had that happen in Colorado. Sucks for sure. Stay warm!!
βTriple pane.β You know youβre 40 when those words seriously turn you on π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ And yes! BOOK!!!!!! No one can write this but you!!!!!!!!!!
triple pane right?? π€£π€£
I swear I learn new things every edition Ash- I didn’t know outdoor heaters existed and I always thought those basement fires/boilers were just a movie thing πππ
Could you use a timer on the toilet heater that goes on at 12.30 am and off at 1.30? Or is this not electric but somehow also linked to this new world of heating I’m just learning about at 51 years of age?
Well wait until I tell you THIS: there are entire towns in the north of Austria that have these giant outdoor wood stoves (essentially) thatβ¦..HEAT THE WHOLE TOWN. It gets piped underground, and you can tap into it, just like any utility. π€―π€―π€―π€―π€―π€―π€―π€―
Also: a toilet heater sounds great! Like, one that actually is ON THE SEAT. Do they make these?!!? Heated toilet seats? They must!!!! *frantically Googles*
Oh yeah! I house sit for someone in California who has a heated toilet seat, because you know it gets down to like 39 degrees for one week in January!
Lol THIS- THIS is why I need to do SO much more travelling- so I can casually drop things like that into the convesation πππ Super cool! (Or hot- depending what you’re talking about I guess!) And Zoe that sounds like a necessity- I’m thinking back to my student days where the house I lived in got frost on the inside of the windows and how much nicer that little part of my day would have been with a heated toilet seat!!!
I donβt understand how the heat gets from the box in the woods to the house??! lol. Growing up in New England we had a propane oil tank beside the house and I remember my mom worrying too about how much it would cost for heating oil.
Dude itβs crazy: itβs all piped underground! And get this. I was just saying to Nicki that there are towns in northern Austria that have giant outdoor versions of these THAT HEAT THE ENTIRE TOWN. You tap into it the way we tap into water supply!!! π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨π«¨
Pictureing you traipsing out to the woodstove! Maybe time to move into the cottage for the winter and make sure the piples are heated in the big house, Then write up a very enticing ad for BNB stays in “Charming farm house writer’s retreat” for only $5K per night. One of my Pilates students complains of paying 10K a month in fees for her Cabo condo but she also rents it out for $10K a night. Oh and she charters a jet at $6k per trip though it is a “bit of a splurge”.
(Hmm, I wonder if I should be charging her more than $80 per hour for Pilates.)
Just laughed out loud at your last line, Zoe!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I hope you have an awesome nickname for this student. π Also: update: the pipes in the cottage officially burst today. So Iβm really looking forward to figuring that out!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
OMG! I do not envy that big old house and cottage. there is always something to fix!!!!
OMG the pipes burst!!! That sucks. I’m sure you’ve shut off the main and electricity to the cottage but if not, do that first. Call your plumber asap. Take photos for insurance. Good Luck and sending you good warm vibes!
PHOTOS FOR INSURANCE!!!!! I didnβt even think of this! Is this something insurance even handles?!? Omg, B, you are a genius
Yes! Insurance! Call them before you do anything. Also, the real problem comes when the frozen water in the pipes thawsβ¦..and then..water damage. Iβve been here before, and can offer advice from someone who lived through this. Please reach out!